It is the evening after Ash Wednesday.  This week as I internally began preparations for this season of Lent, I noticed how numb I seemed to be.  I recalled my experience last year at the Ash Wednesday service where I was aware of my longing to experience the reality of the cross once again.  I wept throughout the service . . . and was grateful.  

This year . . . I found myself distracted.  Even though I thought I wanted to settle down and spend some time reflecting in preparation for Lent, clearly there was a part of my soul that was resisting....
 
"'And yet even now,' says the Lord, 'return to me with all your heart. . . '" - Joel 2:12

The truth is that God knows that I - if left to myself - would absolutely not choose to settle in to a season of returning to the cross.  Even though I might think consciously that I am choosing to return to the Lord with all my heart, it is only by God's grace through the work of His Spirit that I return at all!    

The purpose for engaging in Lenten disciplines is so that we become more in tune with our longing for God so that we can seek Him with all our hearts.  Personally, I have discovered it is a time to help me look at my attachments to anything that is not God.  The process of such self-examen rituals are excruciating and transformative.   

Upon reflection and prayer, I became aware of how tired I was of all the suffering.  You see - I have the privilege of daily walking alongside people in the midst of their deepest sorrows and heartaches.  So I realized that for me - even the thought of walking the journey with Christ to the Cross seemed like too much to handle right now.  This was not a conscious thought but was certainly present - and it was underneath my resistance . . .
driving that car in the other direction at full speed. As I sat with this realization deep within . . .

In God's mercy,  He whispered to me -
"it is now,  sweet girl, when you need the Cross the most."

"In the cross God is revealed not as One
reigning in calm disdain above all
the squalors of earth,
but as One Who suffers more keenly
than the keenest sufferer -
"a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief."
- Oswald Chambers


What is Christ inviting you to this Lenten Season?
What would it look like for you to return to the Lord - with all your heart?
What has distracted you from being intentional about your intimacy with God?
Begin your Lenten journey by having an honest conversation with God.


Lord, let me walk with You through these final hours.  Let me hold Your hurt, live in Your loneliness, and experience what it cost You to go the distance.  In embracing Your pain, may I comprehend the depths of Your love.  In grappling with Your grief, may I grasp the wonder of Your grace.  And in dying Your despicable death, may I gain my own soul.  I do not ask these things lightly.  I know I cannot come to the cross without being changed.  Let me walk with you Jesus -
make me ready for the journey.  - Tricia Rhodes, Contemplating the Cross


"'And yet even now,' says the Lord, 'return to me with all your heart . . . '"  - Joel 2:12

“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; 
with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. 
Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - 
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, 
but pouring them all right out, just as they are, 
chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, 
keep what is worth keeping, and then . . .
with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” 

― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik  1826-1887 
 A Life for a Life

From Dr. Henry Cloud's FB page -

"Hey Guys-

Through everything I've discussed this week, please remember that a relationship is first and foremost about emotional connection. Our attachments to others are called “bonds,” and they are created and maintained by someone’s ability to share and connect from the heart, with all of its emotional vulnerabilities and tender feelings.

Many people can relate on a superficial and social level. But in a long-term relationship of any kind, it becomes increasingly important for you to be able to share your heart with someone, and have your heart be safe. In evaluating people that you are going to give your heart to, be careful to see if they can respond responsibly to your vulnerability and feelings, and also if they can share their own heart with you. That is how bonds are built and maintained.

Ask yourselves these questions:

Can they listen and empathize with your feelings and vulnerabilities?
Can they share on an emotional level?
Do you go away from time with them feeling like you have connected, or do you feel alone in the
relationship?
Is there a high level of assurance that your bond will be protected?

Have a good weekend!
Cheers,
Henry"