| Joy and pain. These two really do flow out of the same capacity in our hearts. Shut off one.... the other is shut off as well. Through the last 15 years of my life - I have become well acquainted with deep sorrow, repetitive loss, as well as blessings of great magnitude. (If you know me personally - you know all about this.) The fruit of the harvest of my laboring with intention through the grief has been deep internal peace, joy, and faith. One thing I have discovered personally is that the deeper joy reaches within and pours out, the depth of pain is equally as deep. There was a respite season for me over the past few years - days and months of a stability "of sorts." Still with great difficulties, of course - as that is daily living at times. However - in the past 6 months or so - and this week - I have found myself in the midst of deep loss and sorrow again. Some things having to do with me personally, some having to do with losses in my family, some having to do with my close friends' losses, some having to do with our community, and some having to do with global issues. There have also been immense blessings to take in at the same time. I find myself actually feeling my heart so poignantly. It is as if it is wordlessly communicating to every ounce of my Self (Body, Soul, and Spirit) in a way that is palpable. In this season though . . .it is a different experience for me. My inner self is not "broken" - in the sense we speak of "broken hearted" when we are sad. No. It does not feel like brokenness or even cracked. No. My heart is . . . - well - . . . it is in fullness of pain and in fullness of joy simultaneously. I guess it is really the juxtaposition of what it is like to love with my whole heart. These days - and today - I am just noticing this, being in it, listening to my heart, communing with God, loving being with my family and friends in the present moments, and welcoming -what in some strange way feels like - strength. "And so faith, hope, love abide [faith—conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope—joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love—true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13 Amplified Bible |  My Mom's Journal “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves |
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject;
with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.
Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person -
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and then . . .
with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik 1826-1887
A Life for a Life
with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.
Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person -
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and then . . .
with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
― Dinah Maria Mulock Craik 1826-1887
A Life for a Life
From Dr. Henry Cloud's FB page -
"Hey Guys-
Through everything I've discussed this week, please remember that a relationship is first and foremost about emotional connection. Our attachments to others are called “bonds,” and they are created and maintained by someone’s ability to share and connect from the heart, with all of its emotional vulnerabilities and tender feelings.
Many people can relate on a superficial and social level. But in a long-term relationship of any kind, it becomes increasingly important for you to be able to share your heart with someone, and have your heart be safe. In evaluating people that you are going to give your heart to, be careful to see if they can respond responsibly to your vulnerability and feelings, and also if they can share their own heart with you. That is how bonds are built and maintained.
Ask yourselves these questions:
Can they listen and empathize with your feelings and vulnerabilities?
Can they share on an emotional level?
Do you go away from time with them feeling like you have connected, or do you feel alone in the
relationship?
Is there a high level of assurance that your bond will be protected?
Have a good weekend!
Cheers,
Henry"
"Hey Guys-
Through everything I've discussed this week, please remember that a relationship is first and foremost about emotional connection. Our attachments to others are called “bonds,” and they are created and maintained by someone’s ability to share and connect from the heart, with all of its emotional vulnerabilities and tender feelings.
Many people can relate on a superficial and social level. But in a long-term relationship of any kind, it becomes increasingly important for you to be able to share your heart with someone, and have your heart be safe. In evaluating people that you are going to give your heart to, be careful to see if they can respond responsibly to your vulnerability and feelings, and also if they can share their own heart with you. That is how bonds are built and maintained.
Ask yourselves these questions:
Can they listen and empathize with your feelings and vulnerabilities?
Can they share on an emotional level?
Do you go away from time with them feeling like you have connected, or do you feel alone in the
relationship?
Is there a high level of assurance that your bond will be protected?
Have a good weekend!
Cheers,
Henry"